After traveling and teaching around the world nonstop for the past twelve years, I think I can say with confidence that for most spiritual seekers today, SEX IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN GOD. I have been married most of that time. Earlier in my life, when I was seeking for liberation with great intensity, there was a point when I began to feel uncomfortable with what had become a fundamentally mechanical and conditioned relationship to the experience of sex and lust within myself. It gradually became apparent to me that I knew little freedom in relationship to this at times overpowering force that could rise up out of nowhere and completely capture my attention—whether I wanted it to or not. This was disturbing.

Several living teachers from the East whom I was deeply influenced by at that time spoke about the significance of transcending the sexual impulse and/or conserving the sexual energy itself in order to remain one-pointed and undivided in one's pursuit of spiritual enlightenment. Also, I became aware of the fact that many spiritual giants throughout human history had for one reason or another chosen to be celibate.

As my spiritual yearning grew, slowly but surely I began to find the romantic/sexual experience to be an annoying distraction. The more my passion and attention were drawn to that infinite unknowable source within, the less interested I became in bearing the emotional intensity and personal focus that the romantic/sexual drama almost always involves. And as I was paying closer attention to my experience in general, it became apparent that the enticing promise that the sexual/romantic impulse always offered was rarely fulfilled. And even when it was, even that proved to be a distraction from the longing for spiritual union that always returned to the center of my consciousness when the intensity of the romantic/sexual interlude subsided. I longed for simplicity. I longed for the end of the interminable confusion and distraction that the romantic/sexual experience always seemed to include. And because I recognized myself to be a conditioned automaton, rather than a free human being, in relationship to the sexual impulse—whatever that was—I decided to be celibate for a time.

Over the three-year period that I was celibate I learned more about sexuality than I had from all of my previous sexual experiences. I learned about the enormous power that sexuality has in its relationship to the mind. Most importantly, I learned two things: first, I saw through paying ever closer attention to my own inner experience that most of what we think about the sexual experience has very little to do with actuality; and second, I recognized over and over and over again that there is absolutely nothing personal about sexual feelings. These discoveries were, have been, and continue to be very liberating.

For the true seeker of liberation from ignorance, the question is of course: How does one realize objectivity in relationship to that most powerful instinct, which by its very nature seems to possess a capacity to cause delusion like none other? It has been my experience over the last twelve years that this question is rarely asked, even by those who should be interested in cultivating some degree of sanity in relation to this explosive dimension of human life. Why is that? It is because for the majority of those who consider themselves to be sincere seekers, the fact is, sex is indeed more important than God. I have continually been amazed to discover that most of us are terrified to question the overwhelming significance that we blindly give to our sexual experience—even if it's not that great! Sex is in fact the sacred cow, the ultimate importance of which we rarely dare to question because we fear that, if we discover that it was not what we imagined it to be, there would be nothing left, no final refuge from the misery and torment of almost unending existential doubt. Why this has been so intriguing to me is that it is precisely those who profess interest in the spiritual dimension of reality, those who believe themselves to be truly open-minded, who more often than not will not touch this question with a ten-foot pole. How many times, when I have brought up this subject in the most simple, honest and human terms, have I felt the unmistakable presence of the visceral No rise up from the crowd seated before me—and I'm a married man! How many times have I seen the shock and horror suddenly appear on otherwise warmhearted people's faces when they hear that some of my students have chosen to take a vow of celibacy for a few years?

The fact is that the climate in the modern spiritual world, in spite of how it may appear, is deeply conservative. That conservatism is expressed as a collective rebelliousness that automatically condemns any "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" as the manifestation of a patriarchal and fascist god. At the same time, there is little recognition that that rebelliousness in and of itself is the very rigidity and oversimplification of human experience that always blinds us to the radical depth that leads to liberating insight.

Is sex more important than God? As long as it is, it will be impossible for us not only to see clearly but also to live a human life that expresses profound sanity. It is always a mistake to underestimate the overwhelming power to create delusion that the sexual instinct possesses. In the end, unless that unknowable mystery alone is our only and final refuge in this very human life, we will not be able to navigate our way through the ever more subtle complexity of sexual experience and leave no trace.