Elizabeth Lesser
WIE: Your book, The
New American Spirituality,
chronicles the emergence in the modern
West of what seems to be a completely new approach to spiritual life,
drawn from the best that psychology, mysticism, mythology, and myriad
other disciplines have to offer. One intriguing way in which this "uniquely
American wisdom tradition" is changing the modern spiritual landscape
is through its endeavor to integrate the spiritual vision into every
aspect of our daily lives in the world. Could you speak a little about
what you've deemed the "new American spirituality" and its
call for a world-embracing approach to spiritual life?
ELIZABETH LESSER: Well, I know some people find the thought of
America being linked with the word "spiritual" very much at
odds, because America's so materialistic and so fast and so focused
on the outer. But there are two aspects to America that I love, that
make me term this phenomenon "American spirituality." One
is our love of democracy, and the fact that we've had over two hundred
years to integrate into our psyches what it means to be a democratic
human being—meaning someone who has self-authority as opposed to being
dependent on an outer authority. The democratic psyche is one that wants
to choose his or her own way of life, to say, "This is what spirituality
means to me and this is how I'm going to pursue it." The other
aspect is our diversity, the fact that you could live in a town and
on the same street there'd be a mosque and a synagogue and a church
and a yoga center and a therapist's office and a bodyworker. We just
don't feel comfortable anymore having only one religion, one way of
searching. So that's what's American about American spirituality: the
diversity and the democracy of the search.
Now
another big part of what's changing about how we pursue spirituality
has to do with the dawning recognition that spirituality is not just
something you do on Sunday or something you leave the world to pursue;
you integrate it into your whole life. We're realizing that while walking
away from the world and getting to know our inner self may be an essential
stage on the path for many people, ultimately that leaves a whole other
part of who we are as whole beings unexplored, unexpressed. Who are
we in relationship to other people? Who are we in relationship to power
issues, to work? Who are we as a man, as a woman? How we push up against
society can teach us a lot about who we are spiritually in the world.
In the
end, I think any spiritual practice, whether it's living as a hermit
for six years or joining a monastery or living in community—ultimately
the path to God leads us to each other; it leads us to integration in
the world. To get there we may need to spend time alone so we can solidify
our own ego and our own self. But eventually I think this new kind of
spirituality is about making the world heaven on earth. That's why I
think God created this strange experiment of human beings: not so that
each one of us would live isolated in order to know him, but so that
together we would know the joy of our humanity as an expression of God.
WIE: It seems that in much of contemporary American spirituality,
life in the world is not only seen as something that needs to be embraced
or included in spiritual life but in fact is often regarded as the very
vehicle for our transformation. Many people today regard specific aspects
of worldly life—from sexuality and relationship to child-rearing to
work—as spiritual practices in and of themselves. Jack Kornfield, for
example, writes in one of his recent books, "The sacrifices of
a family are like those of any demanding monastery, offering exactly
the same training in renunciation, patience, steadiness, and generosity."
This is a sentiment that you seem to echo at several points in your
book.
EL: But I think it's important to realize that Jack Kornfield
is someone who lived as a monk for five years in Asia. He gained a tremendous

amount of self-knowledge, which allowed him, when he did finally marry
and have children, to use his married life as
sangha and dharma.
Jack himself, in his books and his teaching, never fails to mention
this. But some teachers don't, and I think it's unfair for people who
have reaped the benefits of self-inquiry to then turn around and say,
"By the way, I discovered through all those years of self-inquiry
that it's really about being with other people. So forget that—just
be with other people." Even if these teachers and authors don't
mean for it to be confusing, it can be to someone just starting out.
I always like to remember where I came from and what helped me get to
where I am now. My ability to make my family life my path comes from
years of self-awareness work.
WIE: What does it mean to make family life your path, to have
everyday life as a spiritual practice?
EL: Well, it's one thing to experience in meditation the power
of showing up fully in the moment, and how freeing it is to place yourself
so squarely with reality. But when you get off the cushion and you go
to work and try to show up fully in reality with all this stuff happening—people
you don't like, jobs that have a deadline—that's when the
real
practice takes place. Because when we speak about spiritual practice,
like meditation, for example, we use the word "practice" because
it's practice for living. We don't do it to become a great meditator.
We do it as practice for when we are with our kid and they're having
a tantrum, and all you want to do is smack them or run away or do anything
but show up fully with that kid who needs you to just be there. Or when
you're at work and there's so much going on around you and you have
such an opportunity to be distracted or to lash out—that, to me, is
where my practice of meditation has really blossomed. So I can be fully
alive to the moment whether I like what's going on in it or not. That's
been the blessing of a full life, of children, of work, a mate. You
get to try to practice what you preach.
WIE: So in this sense, you're saying that spiritual disciplines
like meditation feed your real
spiritual life, which is the life
of action?
EL: And they feed each other. I find that what I learn in my
training through spiritual practice—meditation and prayer—helps me very
much to be a passionate person in the world who's compassionate, awake,
intelligent. But life in the world also makes my practice much more
meaningful because it's
for something. It's
for the world,
it's for my children, it's for my relationship.
WIE: Early in your own search you, in some sense, left the
secular world behind when you joined together with a group of fellow
seekers to live communally under the guidance of the Sufi teacher Pir
Vilayat Inayat Khan. Now, twenty years later, you're writing and speaking
about the value you've found in integrating the spiritual path into
your daily life in the world. What was it that changed for you?
EL: If there was any hinge in the revolving door of my life,
it was when I got involved in psychotherapy and added that to my spiritual
practice. It was an inner change. Prior to that, my practice had been
about transcendence, transcending the parts of myself that I had labeled
antithetical to spirituality—the parts of me that weren't loving, the
parts of me that yearned for romantic and sexual fulfillment, and the
parts that I determined to be insatiable, so why follow them? And what
happened was that I was becoming more and more able to find this refined
communication with spirit, to touch other realms in meditation, but
less and less happy as a person. I was unhappy in my marriage and in
daily life, and my physical body wasn't that healthy. That was when
I decided, "This isn't working. I can't believe that God would
mean for me to be able to communicate with him, but not be able to communicate
with life." So when I started pursuing physical and psychological
healing through therapy, and getting in touch with my body and therefore
in touch with sexuality and relationship, that's when things began to
change and I began to look for a practice that integrates daily life
into spirituality.
WIE: That's surprising, because the Sufi path is generally
regarded as a "marketplace spirituality," known for the comprehensiveness
of its approach to integrating the spiritual vision into all of life.
But you didn't find it to be—
EL: I don't think that most Eastern paths understand the psychology
of what it means to be a human being as well as what we're developing
now.
WIE: Really? Sufi psychology seems to have articulated the
stages of human development—many different levels of the ego, the self,
and the soul—in penetrating detail.
EL: But I don't think it was turned into an art and a science
for the everyday person to be able to use. Similarly, you can look at
Aristotle and the Greeks, who seemed in many ways to have a very sophisticated
understanding of the psyche. But what's new is that now the everyman
is given tools to actually pursue psychological healing.
WIE: It seems that one major difference between the "new
American spirituality" and traditional attempts to integrate spirituality
into life in the world has to do with the question of authority. Historically,
the most fully integrated approach to spirituality has probably been
found in the Jewish tradition, which teaches "a way of life that
endeavors to transform virtually every human action into a means of
communion with God." Yet while Judaism teaches that our worldly
life is only made sacred when we are living in accordance with and in
submission to a higher spiritual or divine principle, the "new
American spirituality," as you pointed out earlier, emphasizes
the importance of self-
authority, asserting that it's up to each
individual to create and shape their own spiritual path to suit their
own unique needs and temperaments. If in the "new American spirituality"
there is no higher authority on the basis of which life is sanctified,
what is it that makes our life in the world sacred as opposed to merely
secular?
EL: Well, I think if you study all of the great world traditions,
it's not the message that's so different; it's the way that we get there.
Judaism indeed says everything is sacred. Jesus said, "Everything
is sacred. I and my Father are one." You know, life and God are
one. The great native traditions say the same thing. But if you follow
someone else's way to get there—if you have a rabbi, and that rabbi
says, "You do this, and this is good; this will bring you into
holy communion with the Lord. And this is bad; it will make you stray—on
the one hand, that makes it so much easier to stay part of a moral community.
That works. That helps the moral community stay together. It creates
a glue. So I honor what they were trying to do—the patriarchal rule-based
religions. I honor that. I honor the intention. But it doesn't work.
If it worked, we wouldn't be in the mess we're in today. So to me the
whole evolutionary process is about each individual becoming whole and
coming to an understanding of God on his or her own. Because if you
are told to do something, it does not transform your whole self. You
do it because someone's telling you to do it. You do it because you're
afraid that if you don't do it, you'll go to hell. You do it for the
sake of somebody else. And it just doesn't work.