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QUESTION: In your experience with your teacher, what are
the components of tantric lovemaking that make it distinct from
conventional lovemaking?
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Sally:
Tantric lovemaking is used as a vehicle to become more nothing, more absent, more love, and in this way it is distinct from conventional lovemaking. There is no excitement—yet there is profound passion. No movement of the sexual imaginative mind—but great stillness where I love from my being. It is an absence of my self, of all feeling of love, but it is an immediate communication of love and beauty between two bodies.
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Jade:
Conventional lovemaking is largely selfish and self-satisfying. In making love with a tantric master, Barry, a quality of love was communicated through his body and the action of making love that I had never known before. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was being loved by true love, with no stain of selfishness in it. This love was also so utterly devoid of sentimentality or emotionality that it could almost be said to be cold by anyone looking for the comforting warmth of an ordinary love affair. But this coldness had a cosmic pristine purity and beauty which I knew to be divine. It was also profound and communicated stillness and joy. Its effects were long-lasting and intensified the love of God or purity within. Although it is several years later, that love is still in me now as I write; it has never left me and never will because it is timeless, profound. Once made, this love is made forever.
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QUESTION: Were there any prerequisites for you to become Barry Long's consort? Did you have to prepare in any way in order to begin this practice?
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Sally:
The only prerequisite to becoming Barry Long's consort, which was given to me by the grace of God, was my commitment, the absolute giving of my life to love, to God, to the divine consciousness he is. Love cannot be thought about, cannot be practiced. Any practice is still within the mind. So outside of this there are no prerequisites, no preparation, as there is no practice—no doing—no becoming. Only my being true to life itself and the divine will that brought me to him.
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Jade:
As far as I know, the only prerequisite was a love of truth and the master and a willingness to participate in the process. My only preparation was a love of the teaching, which I had been putting into practice as much as I was able. But fundamentally, to be given such an opportunity was an unearned grace. |
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QUESTION: What for you was most challenging about doing this practice?
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Sally:
What for me was most challenging in being with a tantric master as one of five women was facing my sexuality—the force that would keep me separate from love and from which all problems arise. I had to face the hell of my self, all need to be "the one," to be special, to have relationship, to have the man for myself, all want of love. I had to give to my sisters—the four other women—and the master, whilst facing all fear, self-doubt, jealousy or any emotion that would arise from this process so that in time the sexual energy could return to the power of love.
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Jade:
Giving up my need for a personal relationship with the master. Dying to my wanting of his exclusive sexual love and attention, my possessiveness, my jealousy, my comparisons with other women, my need to be the one and only woman. In other words, the awful burning out of my personal, selfish feelings of love and romantic attachment and self-importance. Having to give up my deeply held unconscious notions of what I thought love was and having no room to move away from the ongoing confrontation with my selfishness. It was awful and wondrous to eventually be made to be responsible by the master's lack of compromise. By that I mean that, in his refusal to be manipulated by any emotionality or negativity in me, Barry made me responsible for the lack of love in me. It could then by grace be given up. But in the process, before that point was reached, there was great suffering as my self fought. |
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QUESTION: What has been imparted to you through your intimate association with a living tantric master? How has this transformed you as a woman and as a person?
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Sally:
My absolute all-consuming love of God, the unknown, where there is and never will be the love of anything else. I have realized and continue to realize love as Nothing. I am able to love without fear and attachment and truly serve the purpose of love. Although my self still exists as potential, I am no longer seduced by feelings and do not battle with the sexual possession—my self—but instead am able to be the power of woman—love. I am no longer able to be manipulated by man.
I wait on the Lord, the Most High. Therefore I do not live in choice, decision-making and want of anything other than the truth of my life at this moment. In this I know God—joy without a cause.
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Jade:
My consciousness has been changed. There is a profound knowledge of love and a conscious love of God, or nothing, which is my very being. But really I only know this if I reflect upon it. As a woman I am far more detached and unemotional than I ever was. There is an intelligence that seems to keep any emotionality or negativity which may try to arise at a certain distance. I would say my perception of life is much vaster and more impersonal and profound than before my association with Barry. There is a much deeper sense of being part of the whole. I know I am responsible for love, and that is what I serve. |
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QUESTION: How is the fruit of your practice of this teaching visible in your life outside of a romantic/sexual relationship?
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Sally:
I live a very simple and ordinary life where I have no need of experience and in that I am not attached to pain and making a problem of my life. Therefore I am free to do as I do in the world as any woman would, but I am always the intelligence, the consciousness behind the action. From this place of nothing, I do not infect those around me with my emotion and unhappiness, as is the human condition. But instead I endeavor—not through any trying to do something, but by remaining in this place, in God—to communicate the love, the sweetness of my being.
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Jade:
The external circumstances of my life are good, and I am grateful for my life which I know to be impersonal. As I said before, I am largely unemotional and therefore I am usually able to see the fact and the truth of things, which helps me address life in a right way. The emotions of personal wanting are much reduced, and it is now much easier to rest in God's will. |
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